Not so Happy Campers - Part 1 [1.01]

Chris: [first lines] Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario, I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right now! [moves to Dock of Shame] Here's the deal, twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Drama Island, for good! [moves to campfire pit] Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all, but one camper will receive... a marshmallow. [takes a bite of one marshmallow] In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it: they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle... Black flies... [flies buzzing] Grizzly bears, [grizzly bear roars] Disgusting camp food!

Grub on Plate: Hey now.

Chris: And, each other! Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of camera situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on... TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND!

Chris McLean: [after the show's theme song] Welcome back to Total Drama Island. All right, It's time to meet our first 11 campers. We told them they'd all be staying at a five star resort, so if they seem a little T.O.ed, that's probably why.

Chris McLean: This is Camp Wawanakwa, you home for the next 8 weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. you dig? The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000.

Not so Happy Campers - Part 2 [1.02]

Courtney: [to the cameraman] Are you recording this? [camera zooms in on her] Good. They can enjoy their little party all they want. But I'm gonna win this competition! And no one is gonna stop me.

The Big Sleep [1.03]

Gwen: Don't walk beside me.

Heather: Do you mind?

Owen: Can't....catch....breathe....must....have....condition.

Heather: Yeah, It's called "overeating". Look into it.

LeShawna: What's your excuse, you skinny, annoying...oh, I'm too tired for insults.

Chris McLean: Pick it up, people! If you're not back by dinnertime, you don't eat!

Heather: Ugh, I hate him so much.

Eva: [growls] Where is my MP3 player!? One of you must have stolen it I need my music! No one is going anywhere until I get my MP3 player back.

Courtney: OK, whoever took it better give it up now before she destroys the whole camp.

Heather: Hey, guys. Wow, this place is a real mess.

Courtney: Someone stole Eva's MP3 player.

Heather: You don't mean this, do you? I was wondering who it belong to. I found it by the campfire pit, you must have dropped it.

Eva: Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you!

Heather: Sure thing.

Courtney: To the Killer Bass. And to NOT end up here again next week.

Dodgebrawl [1.04]

Tyler: Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it!

Heather: Why don't you dodge this?! [she throws a canoe to hit Tyler]

Tyler: Ow!

Chris: Gophers, what happened?

Noah: What can I say? Weak effort. [the other gophers glare angrily at him]

Gwen: [annoyed] Oh shut it, Noah. [walks off]

Heather: You know, for once, I agree with her. [walks off as well]

[the female gophers including Cody get up from the bleachers and leave]

Noah: Touchy.

Leshawna: You need to learn a little thing called respect, turkey.

[the other gophers cheer]

Noah: Whatever. I'm outta here. [leaves to the Dock of Shame]

Not Quite Famous [1.05]

Lindsay: (obviously playing diversion) Gwen! It's you! Hi! What are you doing here, outside the cabin, Gwen?

Gwen: Trying to get into the cabin.

Lindsay: Oh, you're trying to get into the cabin! That's very interesting! Wait, stay here! We can get tans together, and you could totally use one!

The Scary Outdoors [1.06]

Phobia Factor [1.07]

Bridgette: Katie would want you to keep going. (Sadie crying) Come on, let's go back and join the others!

Up The Creek [1.08]

Izzy: Come on, the race isn't over yet! We still have to burn stuff.

Paintball Deer Hunter [1.09]

Duncan: [sniffs] Beans... [looks up and grins] Owen! [Owen farts while hidden behind leaves] Nice try, Farticus! You almost had me! [runs away]

Chris: The camper-

Gwen: Who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. Can't we just get this over with?

If You Can't Take The Heat... [1.10]

Heather: This is how you flambé! Step 1, Pour the flambé which you did manage. Step 2, Off to. Light! (Flame burns off Heather's eyebrows) (Gwen laughs)

Heather: Aaah! My eyebrows! Owen!

Owen: This is finally lunch time?

Heather: No! Go get my makeup bag from the cabin!

Owen: But, the bees!

Heather: NOW!

Chris: (After nearly choking to death on the Screaming Gophers' food) WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!

Lindsay: It's Heather's recipe. (Gasps) Oh my gosh, she's still in the fridge! [runs into the kitchen]

Leshawna: What? Girl was making everyone trip.

Chris: Oh, I hear that.

Owen: (gasps horrifyingly) Oh, the horror!

[Heather is out of the fridge with her whole body skin completely light blue]

Heather: (angrily freezing) You guys are... so dead!

Courtney: I'm like the most easy going person I know!

Duncan: Oh yeah, you're totally laid back.

Who Can You Trust [1.11]

Chris McLean: Muy caliente!

Duncan: This bites.

DJ: Big time.

Geoff: Is anyone going to help this guy?

Geoff: Last one in is a rotten blowfish!

Geoff: Oh, come ON!

Chris McLean: Ahhh...Nuts!

Courtney: You're...going...down...

Gwen: [Confessional] Sometimes the universe just gives you a freebie.

Basic Straining [1.12]

Chef Hatchet: Twenty-five of us went into the jungle that night. Only five came back out.

Courtney: I do not concede! I do not concede!

X-Treme Torture [1.13]

Gwen: Did you ever think that maybe Trent's doing this as a form of self expression... like haiku?

Heather: [Confessional] I couldn't let that little dork-wad win, so I decided to cut him loose.

[Heather turns toward Harold and takes out a knife]

Heather: Game over, Gumby!

Chris: Another note from your secret admirer Leshawna?

Gwen and Bridgette: Leshawna's the crush girl?

Leshawna: You two know someone else here with a booty as luscious as an apple?

Gwenn: But who wrote it?

Duncan: (grabs Chris' shirt by the collar; angrily through gritted teeth) The chick was determined!

Harold: Give daddy some sugar.

Brunch of Disgustingness [1.14]

Lindsay: I didn't even taste it!

Bridgette: But, dolphins are our friends!

No Pain, No Game [1.15]

Lindsay: Can't we talk this out over low-cal snacks?

Eva: Whatever. I'm still gonna win!

Search and Do Not Destroy [1.16]

Chris McLean: Duncan's tough exterior seems to help him with the challenge he received.

Izzy: Aww, well you sure are cute. And feisty too!

Chris McLean: DJ seems a little out of his league

Chris McLean: Back in the communal washrooms, things are starting to pile up.

Chris McLean: You know the routine. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow, it's curtains for you.

Hide and Be Sneaky [1.17]

Lindsay: The entire viewing world who?

Chris: Ok, that was a shocker. Even I'm shocked, and I knew the answer.

That's Off the Chain [1.18]

Lindsay: You really are mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true! Like how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)! I always told them they were wrong. I stood up for you, because I thought we were BFF's! But they're right! You really are a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)! And guess what? I don't wanna be BFF's anymore! I'd rather spend the day staring at Owen's butt than shopping with you! And P.S, your shoes are tacky!

(Everyone is laughing)

Gwen: You tell her!

Hook, Line & Screamer [1.19]

Gwen: Here comes the blood fest!

Heather: DJ! It's me! Heather.

Owen: If this was a stunt, would Chris leave behind, his hair gel?!

Owen: It was a joke. Too funny. I was all, "AHHHH", and you were all, "EEEEE".

Owen: Owen isn't getting to second base, is he?

Izzy: (Shakes head)

Owen: First base?

Izzy: (Shakes head again)

Owen: Oh.............is he getting up to ba- (Izzy punches Owen in the face)

Wawanakwa Gone Wild! [1.20]

Chris: Your challenge is to trap an animal.

Duncan: (grabs Owen's arm) Got one!

Chris: A wild animal.

Heather: (Confessional) I assumed I'm the favorite to win. I mean, look who's left! Weird goth girl, a criminal, a fart machine, a party dude, a psycho hose beast, and Leshawna. And the only thing she has going for her is that she hasn't made any enemies. Whoop-doo! We're not here to make friends! We are here to win! And that is exactly what I plan on doing.

Trial by Tri-Armed Triathlon [1.21]

Geoff: You've never been to a party?

Gwen: No, okay? Sometimes I wish I had been. That for just one day I could be one of those happy, vapid girls who gets along with everyone, and who is all excited to eat massive amounts of sugar, and do karaoke, and cheerleading and ponytails. I just don't think it's in my DNA.

Haute Camp-Ture [1.22]

Ezekial: Dude, why are you helping him? He's a traitor, eh.

Noah: Did I get anything out of this experience? No. It was completely and totally uneventful.

Izzy: He kissed a guy!

Noah: No, I didn't!

Izzy: Yes, you did.

Noah: Didn't.

Izzy: Did!

Noah: Did! Not!

Izzy: Did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did!

Trent: Ahem. I can break this tie. He totally did.

Izzy: C'mon, guys! NO ONE SAY "LESHAWNA"! (Chris counts this as a vote against Leshawna)

Parrot: Awk! LeShawna! (Chris counts this as a vote against Leshawna)

Everyone: NO!!

Camp Castaways [1.23]

Are We There, Yeti? [1.24]

Owen: It's all good except one thing's missing... foooooood!

Gwen: (Confessional) I've got to admit, I didn't think I'd make it this far; but now that I have, I might as well win.

I Triple Dog Dare You [1.25]

Heather: Hah. Finally I catch a break. There's no way Lindsay could think of anything bad.

Chris: Ooh, you're not gonna like this one. Have your head-shaved by Chef!

Heather: WHAT!?

Gwen: [gives Owen a high-five] Lindsay rules!

Chris: [after Heather's head is shaved] Wow! Well that was a unfortunate accident... looks like Heather's out.

Heather: What are you talking about? He shaved my head!

Chris: True, but you didn't actually accept the dare. If you had, you'd still be bald, but at least you'd be in the game!

Owen: That was harsh, tough break.

[Heather screams as the birds fly even the eliminated contestants, a squirrel gets shocked too as well]

Chris: [as Heather grabs him by the shirt] Sorry. That's the rules.

Heather: [angrily] I thought you said there weren't any rules!

Chris: Yeah, I know. It's complicated. But here's the rub: you lose, they win.

Gwen and Owen: No way! [Owen gets up and dances] We won! Yes!

Heather: Fine, but you'll be hearing from my lawyers! [walks away]

Chris: Yeah, yeah. [Gave Chef the keys] I know. It's gonna be a long ride.

[Cuts to Heather on the Boat of Losers.]

Heather: A long ride to court, where I sue you for everything you've got!

Chris: And then there were two. Tune in to see who will win the check for $100,000,000 on Total Drama Island.

Heather: You want drama? You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name will be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!

The Very Last Episode, Really! [1.26]

Chris: After eight brutal weeks, it is my pleasure to announce the winner of Total Drama Island: Owen!

Owen: Hey, what can I say Chris? I'm so psyched! This is just...

Gwen, Trent, Leshawna and Tyler: Awesome?

Owen: Yes!

Geoff: Yo, Owen, do you know what it's time for? [Owen grins evilly at Chris]

Chris: No, no, guys... my hair! DUUUUUUUDES!!!

[gets thrown into the lake by Owen, Duncan and Geoff]

Chef: I've been wanting to do that all summer! How do you like that, pretty boy?! Huh?!

Geoff: Oh, Cheeeef...

Owen: [laughs] You're next, dude!

[Gwen's alternate ending]

Chris: After eight grueling weeks, it is my pleasure to give this $100,000 check, to the last camper standing... Gwen! Gwen, at this time I give you the ultimate symbol of survival on this island: The final marshmallow.

Owen: Yeah, you deserve it! It's just such a bummer about the party...

Gwen: Well, after I pay for my two wishes, there may be enough left over for a rockin' party... And everyone's invited! Everyone except Heather. :[Heather frowns]

Owen: Whoo-hoo-hoo! Party, anyway! Are you gonna bring someone...special, Gwen? Hey? Hey? Hey?

Gwen: [looks at Trent] If he'll go with me...?

Trent: So, does this mean...

Gwen: Oh, shut up, already. YES, I'll go out with you! [Gwen and Trent hug]

Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island

Heather: (Confessional) Okay, I know it may look like I'm desperate for a partner. But that's only because...okay, I'm desperate for a partner. But Harold? That is even worse than the mathletes! That's like...ugh...spending the afternoon with the Physics Club!

Noah: Sorry, I forgot my ROIDS at the gym!

Eva: Watch it! It's a trap!

Noah: Justin. The anti-me. So we meet again.

Izzy: Whatever you guys do, don't look him in the eyes! He has powers.

Justin: Give me the case.

Izzy: Back off, really hot guy!

Justin: I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. (Takes off his shirt)

Cody: Courtney, save us! Pull us up!

Courtney: Give me the case, and I will!

Tyler: No way!

Courtney: Okay then! (Goes higher)

DJ: You wouldn't let us fall to our deaths!

Courtney: Oh yes, I would! I don't even like you very much!

Chris: In exactly two days, you will all report to a brand new location for a whole new challenge and the last one standing will receive $1,000,000! So don't forget to tune in to Total Drama Action!