Monster Cash [2.01]

Chris: 42 days, 1 castmates, one heck of a lot of cash, welcome to, Total... Drama... Action!

Owen: Izzy! Run! [Izzy whistles] I mean, Kaleidoscope.

Izzy: Nobody leaves E-Scope behind! [Tarzan yell].

Chris: Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action! This season's hottest reality show will be shot here on an abandoned film lot.

Lindsay: [gasps] Does this mean we're going to be in the movies?

Chris: No, it means you're going to be on TV. And don't interrupt me. Ever! [flicks finger on Lindsay's nose]

Lindsay: Oops! Sorry.

Chris: Like last season, one team will win and the other team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-sine [rolls up window]

[Lame-o-sine causes dust to spread on the trolley, everybody chokes and coughs]

Trent: Could you have sprung for a better ride?

Chris: [rolls down the window] No.

Alien Resur-eggtion [2.02]

(When Heather got hit by a paintball and her wig flies off her head)

Heather: My wig!

(She jumps to grab it but it was too late)

Heather: No! (to the viewers) Don't look at me! [Confessional] Ever since my head was shaved last season, my hair is growing in all patchy and uneven. I have tried everything. Lotions, lasers, traditional burmese medicine, (she sips from her cup but ends up spitting out the medicine in disgust and throws the cup to the side) Loser shamin'!

Chris: And the Gilded Chris goes to Trent, Gwen, Harold, Duncan and Izzy.

Izzy: E-scope!

Chris: Fine! E-Scope! Lindsay, Justin and Beth are also safe!

Both: [Hugs Justin] Yay!

Chris: And so is Owen, my man!

Owen: Aww. Thanks, Chris! And thanks Chef! For doing what the prunes couldn't!

Chris: Next is DJ, surprisingly Heather and last but not least... [Bridgette, Geoff and LeShawna are the bottom three] LeShawna!

LeShawna: Whoo-Hoo! [Hugs Bridgette and Geoff] Oops! My bad!

Bridgette: But, But. I thought everyone liked us.

Duncan: Liked being the operative word. [Confessional] I know who's going to get it this week! [mimics Bridgette and Geoff kissing]

Lindsay: [Confessional] Two words! Bridgette and Geoff!

DJ: At least they'll still have each other!

Riot On Set [2.03]

Chris: Izzy, time to go!

Izzy: I'm not going anywhere. That's not my name.

Beach Blanket Bogus [2.04]

3:10 To Crazytown [2.05]

Aftermath 1: Trent's Descent [2.06]

The Chefshank Redemption [2.07]

One Flu Over the Cuckoos [2.08]

The Sand Witch Project [2.09]

(Before The Gilded Chris was ready to go to either Justin or Lindsay.)

DJ: I'm gonna do what I've should've done long ago. Make mama proud. I'm voting myself off.

Masters Of Disasters [2.10]

Chef: [pulls out giant book] Ahhh, my unpublished manifesto. I've lived a lotta years!

[he hurls the book at Owen nailing him in the mouth]

Owen: Ouchie! That'll hurt come morning.

Izzy: Oh, no! Owen! Are you okay?

Chef: [smugly] My editor was right, my life really is dangerous!

Chris: The good news is, it looks like Owen won the challenge for the Killer Grips!

Leshawna: Oh, no, he didn't!

Harold: Yeah, we got our whole team across the finish line!

Chris: Serious injury trumps all!

Heather: You just make up the rules as you go along, don't you?

Chris: I love my job!

Izzy: How's Owen doing?

Chris: Oh, Owen's fine, a little broken jaw, but it's all wired shut now. Shouldn't take more than 4 - 6 weeks to heal.

Beth: Oh no! It's that bad?

Chris: [with feigned enthusiasm] I mean, he's doing fine.

[The Killer Grips glare at him.]

Full Metal Drama [2.11]

Izzy: (To Justin) I don't think you're that cute.

TDA Aftermath: Forgive and For-Gwen [2.12]

Gordon: Ahoy, mates.

Geoff: Ello, ol' chap.

Gordon: I'm from London, Ontario, and I wanna be a chef! I'm making DJ sandwiches! But there's some stupid (censored) ingredient I can't (censored) figure out! (censored)!

Gwen: Duncan didn't vote me off.

Courtney: Only because you had your goth girl hooks into him!

Gwen: Courtney, we're just friends! Please tell her, Trent.

Gwen: We're just-

Geoff: (Pointing to the anvil) Watch what you say!

Gwen: Friends.

(The anvil stays where it is, proving that she's telling the truth)

Courtney: I am so calling my lawyer!

DJ: If you can't be honest, Bridgette-

Bridgette: No, no, that wasn't from me!

(The anvil comes loose, proving Bridgette was lying)

[Bonus post-Aftermath; Gwen sits in the waiting room]

Gwen: [dismayed] Oh, man. They really let me have it out there. That was tough. And seeing Trent was no cakewalk either. Guess Trent's the man now. Sure has a lot of girls after him. Who knew he had so many fans? It's nice that he stood up for me. Maybe he still likes me a little. [sees Trent walking by with Katie and Sadie, all three laughing; dismayed once again] Or not.

Ocean's Eight - Or Nine [2.13]

Duncan: [at teller's desk] Afternoon, ma'am. That's a great set of legs you got there, but right now I'd like to focus on those lovely hands of yours. I need them to start filling this pillowcase with cash.

Courtney: Anything else I can do for you today, [pulls off wig] Duncan?

[Duncan squeaks and then faints]

Chris: [straining to read a document from Courtney's lawyers] Teams, it is my honor to report that Courtney is back for the duration of the game. [Courtney waves to the Gaffers as Duncan looks scared] And, we're all exceedingly happy about it!

Heather: She got voted out fair and square!

Courtney: Sorry, Heather, but myself and the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen and Grouse would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers and won.

Harold: Great news, eh, Duncan?

[Duncan shoves Harold in the face and to the floor]

Chris: So, Courtney, since you were our bank teller in the challenge, great job by the way, you get to decide which team deserves to win first prize, your bag of loot.

Courtney: The choice is obvious, it's Duncan! I mean the Gaffers, since they were the only team that managed to get to my wicket. [Duncan walks up to get the bag] Congratulations.

Duncan: [very confused and strained look and cracking voice] Thank you?

Heather: I've seen manlier men trying on women's shoes.

Chris: [waves hand over Grips] So that means, The Killer Grips win second prize!

Justin: What's second prize?

Chris: [waves hand over Courtney] Courtney! For the rest of the game, or until she's eliminated!

Courtney: [in confessional] Those Total Drama Dirtbags have some nerve making me second place. They will definitely be hearing from my lawyer [pulls out cell phone] again!

Chris: Like always, Killer Grips, one member of your team will not be receiving a coveted Gilded Chris, made of the finest Belgian chocolate. [Owen's stomach grumbles and his jaw holder breaks lose and a piece hits Courtney] But not like always, and this is important to remember: This week, according to our lawyers, none of you are allowed to vote off Courtney. You got that, dudes!? The show can't afford any more lawsuits! [whispers] My massage budget has been sliced in half! [Chef gives the vote sheets to Chris] And the Gilded Chris Awards go to Beth, Lindsay, Justin [looks at vote sheet] Why do I have four votes to boot out Courtney when I specifically said you COULDN'T?

Justin: I guess we couldn't help ourselves.

Lindsay: No matter what? My finger would only press the Courtney button.

Chris: Well, that leaves us with one vote that counts.

Courtney: Owen, you've been eliminated.

[Owen walks up to Chris]

Justin: This is bull!

Lindsay: You can't do that!

Chris: Sorry, bud, no Chocolate Chris Award for you.

Owen: Not even an ear?

Justin, Beth, and Lindsay: Speech, speech, speech, speech!

Courtney: He lost the game for us, guys. Hello?

Chris: Anything in your contract that'll stop him from speaking?

Courtney: Um, no... but --

Chris: Then... a little light for my friend here.

Owen: [reading his speech] This has been the role of a lifetime. Thanks to Justin, [shows Justin as a hot dog in Owen's eyes] who inspired me every day with his physical perfection and "hot dogginess." To Lindsay, [shows Lindsay as a bottle of soda] who is also beautiful, in a "soda-poppy" kind of way. To Beth, [shows Beth as a chicken leg] who motivated me with her delicious crispy skin, [Beth frowns] and her tender, juicy goodness. To Chris, [shows Chris as a slice of pizza] who also smells -- [The Gilded Chris theme begins to play, as to cut Owen's speech short] What? No, no, you can't play me off yet! To my mom, who let me quit piano lessons! To my brothers, I'm sorry for scamming you out of your Halloween Candy.

Lindsay: [in background] We love you, Owen!! [Lindsay, Justin, and Beth throw their Chocolate Chris' at Owen]

Justin: This Chris is for you.

Owen: [begins to mumble because of the Chris that landed in his mouth, and awakens from the flashback in regular clothes, on the ground] I love this game!

Chris: And that wraps up another totally dramatic episode, without absolutely no loose-ends to tie up. Isn't that right, Chef?

One Million Bucks B.C. [2.14]

Courtney: Hey, girls. (everyone glares at her) Isn't anyone glad to see me?

Heather: (creepily) Great to have your hair...here! It's great to have you here, Courtney!

Duncan: Our spoiled princess didn't waste any time hooking herself up.

Courtney: And you didn't waste any time hooking up with Gwen after I left.

Heather:: (Confessional) I got some! Courtney's hair! Soon it will be mine, all mine! (starts laughing like a maniac) What? I'm not crazy, I'm just bald!

Duncan: (Confessional) I did not hook up with Gwen. Having Courtney back reminds me how much she drives me crazy. And how much she drives me crazy.

Courtney:(in confessional make-up room) Sure, Duncan has this primal animal magnetism, but he also wants to make me hit him where it hurts. (yelling) (hits Duncan with bone in the crotch)

Duncan: (in confessional make-up room) EEEE! Why do they always go for the kiwis? WHY?!!!!

Heather: (Bonus confessional) Reward challenges are such a waste of time. [an arm pops up and wipes the tar off her face] I wish we had a gilded Chris ceremony every night. Let's get on with it already. So I can get my million bucks and get a decent makeover. I mean, a super sized serving of meat? Who cares? I've got something better... Courtney's hair! [licks the hairpiece and sticks it on her head; An intern barges in and tries to take it, but not before she puts up a fight] No, you can't have it! It's mine! Well, okay, it was Courtney's, but I took it, which makes it mine! [The intern takes Courtney's hairpiece off of her head and leaves; She puts her caveman wig back on her head, realizing it's stuck on] It won't come off! I have hair! I finally have hair!

Million Dollar Babies [2.15]

Harold: Ooh! Ooh! I got it! Let's cheer for Norbert Swindlow!

Heather: Who?

Harold: The inventor of the pom-pom? Duh.

Heather: I say we cheer for me.

Leshawna: You?

Duncan: I'd rather cheer for my school principal, my mother, Leshawna.

Leshawna: [recorded video on Courtney's PDA with Leshaniqua] Ooh, Heather! Mm! Just mean for the sake of being mean. Lindsay has half the brain cells, max. And is usually gone out shopping. Ooh, Ooh! Probably with Justin's giant ego. [laughs] Duncan, likes to think he's a bad boy, but when Courtney was there, she basically dragged him around by his eyebrow ring. Beth, actually wears a side ponytail. A side pony! And Harold? Darn fool's sweet on me, but he's getting about as much play as an old school cassette tape in a world of MP3s!

[She and Leshaniqua laugh hysterically]

Leshaniqua: Ooh, girl.

[Courtney ends the video and everyone turns and glare angrily at Leshawna]

Leshawna: You don't understand! That was outside the game! I didn't know anybody'd see that coming!

[At the elimination ceremony, the Screaming Gaffers cast their votes.]

Chris: So, the Gaffers lose it again! Must be tough! Especially with your own teammate dissing you all over the World Wide Web.

LeShawna: Hey! I got enough problems with you messing things up.

Chris: And Heather, you would have to feel awful about your loss to Beth on the badminton court. Heather!

Heather: Sorry! I'm trying to remember what feeling awful is like.

Chris: Duncan might remember, since he lost to a girl in wrestling.

Duncan: She's not any girl. She's Courtney! It's a whole other thing!

Chris: Harold! I'd say you might be the only one who might be safe.

Harold: Well, Chris. I...

Chris: Ooh. No one wants to hear it! [Gave Harold a Gilded Chris] Just take the statue! [Tosses another Gilded Chris to Duncan] Diaper Shark! You're safe too! [Heather and LeShawna are the bottom two] LeShawna...

Leshawna: [nervously] Yes?

Chris: I'm sorry, but...heads up!

[Leshawna catches the award and stands up in delight]

Leshawna: Yes!

Heather: What?! You voted me off?! Me?!!

Leshawna: Heather, if it's worth anything, you can count me as a friend. [Heather smiles] Just don't tell anyone that I said so, and if this ends up on the TDA Website, I'll pretend it was all CGI.

Heather: Hey, something to remember me by, [takes off her wig, and hands it to Leshawna] and to wear next time your hair looks as bad as it does today. [Heather steps into the Lame-O-Sine, and Leshawna scowls as it drives away]

Heather: [Lame-o-sine bonus] You, know it's really just a total relief to be out of there. In a mill isn't worth wasting another second of my time with those freaks. At least I didn't have to lick anyone's armpit this time. And now, I have the time to get a weave and correct this travesty. I mean the million would have come in handy to get some totally rad extensions, and my dad's so cheap I'll probably end up with pony-hair. Maybe I can cut my mom's off while she's sleeping. She's always had nice volume. Now that the dumb game's done, the possibilities are endless.

Dial M for Merger [2.16]

Harold: [in confessional] I used to think the producers were mean. But now I think they're actually trying to kill us! If you ask me, it's a conspiracy to- [An intern knocks him out by hitting him in the back of the head with a nightstick]

[cut to Justin, Beth, and Leshawna being inside the tralier]

Justin: Hey, where's Harold?

Beth: We're all gonna die!

Justin: Beth, it's gonna be alright. Just focus on my calming beauty, and my soothing complexion. [Beth cries] Ah! I'm hideous!

Leshawna: Oh no! This is not happening to me.

[a gas bomb is thrown inside, and Justin, Beth, Leshawna get knocked out]

Justin: [after Beth elbows him in the eye] My eye! My beautiful, un-insured eye!

Beth: I'm so sorry! Are you okay? [Beth touches his elbow]

Justin: Ah! I bruise easier than a clingstone peach. Must prevent swelling... I need ice! Ice! [Justin runs away, then looks at himself in a mirror] I... am... a hideous beast! No one will ever hire me now! My modeling career is over! I'll have to go work in the circus as one of those... circus freaks.

Super Hero-ld [2.17]

[After Courtney insulted Lindsay as Wonder Woman]

Lindsay: Courtney just stepped on my invisible jet!

Chris: Courtney, minus two points for stepping on Lindsay's jet.

Courtney: What?

Harold: Can I have a ride?

Lindsay: Sure! Who wants a ride in my invisible jet?

Harold: There is no way I am voting off LeShawna. We're supposed to have an alliance with her. Duncan, we should vote you off for treason.

Duncan: Pals before gals, Harold? We're outnumbered, and if you don't do anything I say, I'll tell LeShawna that you pick your nose in your sleep.

Harold: You do have circumstantial evidence at best.

Chris: Where are your tights?

Duncan: I don't do spandex, I'm The All-Seeing Eye, and I've got psychic powers. I can see into the future.

Harold: Yeah, right.

Duncan: Harold is about to experience a painful life lesson. [punches Harold in the arm]

Harold: Ow!

Chris: Even I saw that one coming. Two points.

[Leshawna gets voted off]

Leshawna: You guys voted for me?

Harold: [cries] I'm sorry. I didn't know if I could trust you, but I made a big mistake. A big mistake.

Leshawna: Awwww, honey-pie, don't you worry. I made a mistake once too. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Harold: Do you forgive me?

Leshawna: Come here, sugar baby. Leshawna's gotta a whole lot of love. [gives Harold a hug]

Aftermath 3: Owen or Lose [2.18]

Geoff: Bridgette thinks we need to bring more insanity to the show. (Bridgette glares at him) I mean profanity. (Bridgette punches him) Okay, okay, more humanity. She thinks I've gone way too over the top. But then, so have our ratings!

Geoff: Heather, do you think Courtney's a worthy competitor?

Heather: No. (gets electric shock)

Geoff: Do you think Lindsay's as dumb as she looks?

Heather: Yes. (gets electric shock)

Geoff: Do you think Beth could be a threat?

Heather: Beth? Absolutely not! (gets electric shock)

Leshawna: Truth is I like Harold! A lot. Sure, there's a part of me that can't resist those little man biceps of his - who could? But we're friends, which is how we're keeping it.

The Princess Pride [2.19]

Harold: [Confessional, while listening to the CD]

Justin: No, I am a noble gentleman, a brave knight, a handsome prince. I would never hurt a lady.

Harold: Although a guy who's working with you is apparently fair game!

Justin: I said I was sorry, Harold. I refuse to raise a sword to Courtney. I give up any chance at immunity to spare her. And now... [puckers his lips, expecting a kiss from Courtney]

Courtney: Sorry, Justin. I just can't let immunity go. You understand. [pushes Justin off the tower with sword]'

[At the elimination ceremony]

Chris: So, with immunity, Courtney is the first to win a Gilded Chris.

Courtney: [Catches the Gilded Chris, then feels the pain] Ow.

[It's revealed that Beth was pinning the Princess Courtney doll.]

Beth: I think she felt that! Cool!

Lindsay: Get her elbow!

Chris: Before we continue the awards though, I have some news. Courtney's lawyers called and demand an 80% of all the profits of the Princess Courtney merchandise. So not gonna happen! So, we're renaming them after the only other two brunettes left in the competition. Beth!

Beth: [Squeals].

Chris: You get your very own Princess Beth doll. And the contract stating you get 0% of the Princess Beth profits. Along with a Gilded Chris award. You live another week!

Beth: [Squeals] Fairytales do come true! [Notices something] Oh my gosh! [runs off] Take the pins out!

Chris: Also still in the competish. Lindsay! Eh. Harold! [Justin and Duncan are the bottom two] Who will lived happily ever after? And who will die penniless? And the last Gilded Chris goes to... Justin! Duncan, you're out.

Courtney: WHAT?! This is an outrage! Justin should be going home!

Chris: Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding. Justin's actually the one who's been eliminated! [Gave Duncan the last Gilded Chris]

Duncan: [to Courtney, smirking] An "outrage," huh?

Justin: Courtney? [Courtney was on her PDA and she waves] Beth? Lindsay?

Lindsay: Princess Beth is so cute.

Justin: Is no one even going to miss me?

Duncan: Ciao.

Harold: See you in the funny papers. Farewell! Auf Wiedersein. Don't let the door hit you in the...

Justin: Okay, stop already! I'm going, but you'll regret it. With me gone, things have started to become 80% less handsome. [bumps his head on the door] Ow! Alright, 79!

Get a Clue [2.20]

Lindsay: (Annoyed when Courtney undermines her contributions) I was the one who said Chris was giving us hints!

Beth: (Soothingly) You did, sweetie.

Courtney: What's my prize!?

Chris: [British Accent] I don't recall having mentioned any sort of prize... [Normal Voice] but thanks for releasing me it was getting stuffy in here.

Courtney: You're not smoking!?

Chris: What! Oh no! Of course not! (swallows his pipe)

Courtney: Ew.

Chris: What? It's chewing tobacco!

Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!

Chris: Nah! Just kidding, it's black licorice.

Courtney, Duncan, Harold, Lindsay, and Beth: Ew!!

Chris: Yeah you're right; this stuff's disgusting.

Courtney: I am going to get a prize I promise you that.

Chris: It's not prize time yet.

Courtney: Make it prize time!

Chris: I'm trying to do my job here.

Courtney: Maybe I should get my lawyers to do their job.

Chris: Moving on...

Courtney: I want a prize. I want a prize! I WANT A PRIZE!

Beth: Look, I'm obviously a little old for make believe. But Courtney would not have been someone I invited over to my pretty pretend palace, ever. She'd always want to be the daddy, the doctor and the prime minister of all my dolls, and they won't like that one bit! I mean, wouldn't. If I still played with them. Which I don't.

Lindsay: [Bonus confessional] Going to the movies with Duncan? It reminded me of ordering [holds up a soda and a bucket of popcorn] the "Mega-Combo" at the movies. At first, you think it's gonna be fun. Courtney's losing her mind, Duncan is "pretty okay" most of the time, the butter's glistening off the popcorn, good, right? [eats the popcorn and dumps the rest out of the bucket] But by the time the previews are over, you've eaten half the bucket, [pours out the soda] finish the drink, and you're feeling a little bit sick. [burps and covers her mouth in avoiding to barf]

Rock 'N Rule [2.21]

Lindsay: Why is Owen eating my popcorn?

Owen: (laughing) Hey everybody!

Everyone: Owen?

Chris: Owen! You were supposed to wait for your cue; what is wrong with you?

Owen: I was hungry! And when I'm hungry I forget everything except what my tummy is telling me.

(After Duncan wins the first challenge)

Duncan: Watch and learn, baby doll. Maybe one day you'll be able to rock as hard as me.

Courtney: (Hits him in the crotch with her guitar and he screams in pain) That hard enough, baby doll?

Owen: (he sees Lindsay jumping on the bed in the final challenge.) Oooh, that looks like fun! (Owen then cannonballs onto the bed, nearly crushing Lindsay in the process.)

Lindsay: (She is in the confessional, after Owen lands on her trying to jump on the bed. She is fine, but disheveled.) THAT WAS SO TERRIFYING! I saw my life flash before my eyes! It looked a lot like Owen's butt.

[The contestants started casting their votes, Owen votes for Courtney, Harold votes for Duncan, Courtney votes for Lindsay, Duncan votes for Lindsay, Beth votes for Duncan and Lindsay unnoticeably votes for herself.]

Chris:

Lindsay: [Lame-o-sine bonus] Getting kicked off the show may be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen [2.22]

Owen: (after challenge, trying soup made of 7 deadliest fish being served.) Ooh, tastes like... poisonous... (his throat swells up.) BLOWFISH. (faints)

Duncan: [Bonus confessional with a cold tuna steak covering his black eye] Yeah, Harold banished me from the sushi feast, one of the perks of winning the reward. Can you believe how fast the student became the teacher? Little twerpwad did me proud.

2008: A Space Owen [2.23]

Courtney: Duncan, can I have your pillow? Mine floated off somewhere.

Duncan: No can do, babe. I already gave it to Scruffy.

[Courtney and Beth get in a fight in the girls' cabin]

Courtney: I can't believe you went against me like that!

Beth: You deserved it for being so mean and bossy towards me!

Courtney: Oh, if that's how you feel, the girl alliance is over!

Beth: Fine!

Courtney: Fine!

Duncan: This'll teach you to mess with my Scruffy. [votes for Harold]

Harold: Bye bye, traitor! [votes for Owen]

Owen: Harold's on to me, I know it. [votes for Harold]

Beth: The girl alliance is over! [votes for Courtney]

Courtney: (To the viewers) Back off! There's a reason why this is called secret voting, people.

Harold: I, too, love a catfight, but only between actual cats wearing tiny boxing gloves.

Top Dog [2.24]

Duncan: Chill, Owen, I spent the night in Courtney's trailer.

Owen: Really? What did you two do all night? Come on, come on!

Duncan: Down boy! We talked. About relationship stuff, mostly. (Takes out contract)

Owen: Dude, Courtney gave you...HOMEWORK.

Chris: This is a big one, cast. Beth is safe from elimination, which means the rest of you are fair game. So sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time!

Beth: Owen betrayed us... but Courtney's the bigger threat! [votes for Courtney]

Owen: I like Duncan, but Beth and Courtney eat less. More for me! [votes for Duncan]

Courtney: See you never, traitor! [votes for Owen]

Duncan: [snores, then wakes up, unnoticeably votes for Courtney] Huh?

Chris: The Gilded Chris goes to... Beth, and... Duncan! Courtney, since Beth and Duncan both voted for you, it's time for your ride home! Owen, I'll deal with you in a moment.

Courtney: WHAT?! Duncan voted for ME?! UGH! [Tosses away her voting device]

Courtney: [As she was forced in the Lame-O-Sine] How could you do this to me. After everything! We are so done!

[Duncan and Beth looked at each other and Chris led Owen to the Lame-o-Sine]

Owen: Uh, Chris? I think you forgot to give me my Gilded Chris Award...

Chris: Sorry, Owen. You've been fired.

Owen: But... whyyyy?

Chris: [pushes Owen into the Lame-O-Sine, while Courtney is shouting indistinctive in the limo] What's the point of having a spy who's already been spied?

Mutiny on the Soundstage [2.25]

Beth: I'm everyone's friend! I like everyone, they like me!

Beth: (When she finds out Chris is upset about Chef leaving) Have you thought about being nice? Works for me sometimes!

Chef Hatchet: What color is Courtney thinking of?

Duncan: Right now! Are you serious? Ohhhh. I don't know, blue?

Courtney: (in separate room outside set) Burnt sienna! Ugh, he doesn't know anything about me!

Bridgette and Geoff: And the winner is...

[everyone looks on in admiration, until both Duncan and Beth come in at the same time]

Bridgette: It's a... tie?

Geoff: So, um, what exactly are we gonna do about the million dollars?

[The others are shocked or upset about the results]

Aftermath 4: Who Wants To Pick A Millionaire? [2.26]

Chris: The Season Two Total Drama Winner is... Duncan!

Duncan: [laughing triumphantly] AHAHAHA, YEAH!!!

Courtney: [runs up and hugs him] We're rich!

Duncan: Whoa-ho-ho-ho, not so fast, sister. Who said I'd share anything with you?

Courtney: [kisses Duncan, who subsequently looks content] Every king needs a queen.

Duncan: "King," huh? That doesn't sound so terrible... [they continue kissing]

Beth: [after seeing Brady enter] Brady! [Beth and Brady hug]

Lindsay: Wow!

Heather: Not only is he real, he's really handsome!

[Beth's alternate ending]

Chris: The Season Two Total Drama winner is... Beth!

Beth: Yeeeeaaaaaah! [the other contestants cheer and Brady enters] Brady! [Beth and Brady hug]

Lindsay: Wow!

Heather: He's not only real, he's really handsome!

Justin: Now I wish I didn't vote for her.

Celebrity Manhunt's TDA Reunion Show

Sierra: [in confessional] O-M-G. This is my first confessional EVER! I am so excited! I never thought I would be on Total Drama, my favorite show in the world! Talking to all of my favorite TV stars is SO fab! Now I will finally put to rest all those Cody blog questions, like "How many freckles does he have on his back?," "What kind of deodorant does he use?," "How many times does Cody sleep facing west?," and "What song does he sing in the shower?" Ooo. [giggles] Oh! [giggles] Oh, my! [giggles] That last one will definitely be a six month analysis. Oh, yeah! [laughs and shrieks]

Alejandro: [in confessional] Watch out Total Drama nerds. The new guy is going all the way to the top.

Chris: [about the new season] 16 teens, a trip around the world, What more could you possibly want?

Chef: How about music?

Chris: Yeah, everybody's doing the musical thing, now. Sure, and music! See ya next time, on "Total Drama..." [cut to on top of the control tower]

Chris and Chef: [singing] Musical! [cut to baggage car, where they stand on top of] Musical! [cut to the front of the plane] MUUU-SIIIII-CAAAAAL!! [the front of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet falls and breaks]

Chris: Uh, maybe not! [the third season's TRUE name is shown: Total Drama World Tour]