Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II is a 2008 episode of the television comedy series Robot Chicken, and the sequel to the Annie Award winning Robot Chicken: Star Wars, which aired as a one-off special during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block on November 16, 2008.

Dialogue

Mon Mothma: [to Restaurant waiter] I'll have the calimari.

Admiral Ackbar: Well. I guess I'll have the insensitive bitch. With a side of fuck you!

Darth Vader: Welcome, my master! The Death Star construction is proceeding...

Emperor Palpatine: [interrupting Vader] Yeah! Great! Fine! Whatever. That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right?

Darth Vader: [shamefully] Yes...

Darth Vader: [pointing to a black suitcase with a white stripe that is passing by Vader and Palpatine on a luggage conveyor belt] Is that yours?

Emperor Palpatine: No! For the hundredth time, that's that same stupid black bag. Mine doesn't have a stripe. It's like that stripey bag is mocking me... Fuck you, stripey bag.

[beat]

Emperor Palpatine: Well, my suitcase is gone! Sacrificed to the airport gods... Now I'm here for two fucking weeks with one fucking robe. Alright, now it's sticking to me like a wet Kleenex. [A surfboard passes them on the conveyor] Wow, for real?

Emperor Palpatine: [Emerging from a gift shop wearing "Death Star 2" merchandise] Yeah, guess I'll just be killing myself then.

[Cut to Palpatine sitting in the throne room]

Emperor Palpatine: Good chair, good chair. Nice lumbar support. Great view of [spins around to face the window] utter blackness.

[The air conditioning grows loud. Palpatine spins back around in disbelief]

Emperor Palpatine: Oh, for- I'm right under the air conditioning vent! And the chair's bolted to the floor? Who's the brainia- Hey Crayola, help me shut this vent!

[An Imperial guard walks over and attempts to shut the vent with his pike]

Emperor Palpatine: Yeah. Reach up there with your staff of Ra, and... [the guard knocks down the cover of the vent]

[The air conditioning becomes gust-like. Palpatine's hat is blown away.]

Emperor Palpatine: Hey, wanna see me tempt fate? Could this day get any worse? I did it ironically, so I think I'm safe.

[One hour later...]

Emperor Palpatine: [Being carried by Darth Vader] What are you doing? Put me down! [screaming as he is thrown down the reactor shaft by Vader]

Cast

• Seth Green as Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Nerd, Ponda Baba, Bob Goldstein, various voices
• Seth MacFarlane as The Emperor, Dr. Ball, Cantina Band Member
• Breckin Meyer as Boba Fett, Admiral Ackbar
• Abraham Benrubi as Darth Vader
• Bob Bergen as Luke Skywalker
• Ahmed Best as Jar Jar Binks
• Hugh Davidson as Stormtrooper, Rebel Trooper
• Keith Ferguson as Han Solo, General Veers
• Conan O'Brien as Zuckuss, Star Wars nerd
• Adrianne Palicki as Padmé Amidala, Jessica
• Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, Female Krayt Dragon
• Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian, Ackbar's Manager
• Donald Faison as Gary the Stormtrooper, Imperial Pilot, Darth Maul
• Andy Richter as Male Krayt Dragon, 4LOM
• Zeb Wells as Dengar

External links