Robot Chicken: Star Wars is a 2007 episode of the television comedy series Robot Chicken, airing as a one-off special during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block on June 17, 2007.

Palpatine

• [on the phone with Darth Vader] Vader! How's my favorite Sith?... Whoa whoa whoa... whoa, whoa. Just - slow down. Huh? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star? Fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck! FUCK!... Who's "they"?... What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon? [sighs] OK, OK, so who's left?... Are you shitting me?... Well, where are you?... Wait a sec, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal?... Oh, you must smell like... feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon... Oh, oh, oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide! That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet!... Do you - do you have ANY idea what this is going to do to my credit? [phone beeps, he sighs] Hang on, I've got another call. [switches line] WHAT? I'm very busy right now!... Oh! Oh, well - well, where are they going?... Oh, all right, uh... just get me a turkey club... Um, coleslaw, I guess. I'm not even gonna eat it... Well, what are you getting?... See, I always order the wrong thing. No, no, I'll just stick with that. OK, bye - what?... Oh, uh, Cherry Coke. Thanks. [switches line] Sorry about that. [sighs] What?... Oh, oh, "just rebuild it"? Oh, real fucking original. And who's going to give me a loan, jackhole, you?... You got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite? Now get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here, or I'm going to tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Padama-may or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!... [covers receiver] Oh, jeez, he's crying! [giggles, then into phone] Hey, hey, hey, hey. C'mon. C'mon, don't do that. Just - just. Look, you know, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death Star blown up by a bunch of fuckin' teenagers, you know? I didn't mean to snap. [makes "jack-off" motion] Oh, uh - just get back here. OK. OK. Bye. I... um... I... [whispers into phone] I love you, too.

Dialogue

Luke: Your overconfidence is your weakness.

Palpatine: Your faith in your friends is yours.

Luke: Not my faith in yo momma...

Palpatine: What was that?

Luke: I said yo momma's so fat, Jabba the Hutt said DAAAAAMN!

Palpatine: Well, your mother is so ugly she put the 'ug' in 'ugnaught!'

Darth Vader: Ohh, yo momma fight!

[Cut to next scene. Luke and Palpatine are on stage in front of a crowd]

Luke: Yo momma's so stupid, she spent all day saying 'am not' to R2!

Palpatine: Your mother is so fat, that Ben Kenobi said 'That's no moon, that's yo momma!'

Luke: Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Jar Jar came with pickles pickles!

Palpatine: Your mother is so stupid she, she thinks, uh, that a lightsaber has fewer calories!

[Music cuts. Crowd fallls silent]

Palpatine: You know, cause it's 'lite,' and it's got less calories... and it's good for your body, ummm... anyway that's how stupid your mother is...

Luke: Yo momma's so dumb she went to Bangkok to get a TIE fighter!

Crowd: Luke wins!

[Darth Vader throws Palpatine into the reactor core]

Darth Vader: Turn to the dark side and join me.

Luke: I'll never join you... You killed my father!

Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!

Luke: That's not true! That's impossible!

Darth Vader: And Princess Leia is your sister!

Luke: That's not true! That's... improbable.

Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!

Luke: That's... very unlikely.

Darth Vader: And as a child, I built C-3PO!

Luke: Huh?

[time passes]

Darth Vader: And the Force? Well, that's just microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream called Midichlorians.

Luke: [smoking a cigarette] Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm out.

Cast

• Seth Green - Announcer, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Homeless man, Imperial officer, Jenna Bush, Max Reebo, Nerd, Ponda Baba, Space slug #2,[1] Qui-Gon Jinn
• Candace Bailey - Girl, Princess Leia Organa
• Abraham Benrubi - Darth Vader
• Bob Bergen - Luke Skywalker
• Ahmed Best - Jar Jar Binks, Stormtrooper
• Donald Faison - Evazan, Mace Windu
• Joey Fatone - Himself
• Keith Ferguson - Han Solo, C-3PO, Imperial droid
• Mark Hamill - Luke Skywalker (Spoilers sketch only)
• Hulk Hogan - Abraham Lincoln
• Tom Kane - C-3PO
• George Lucas - Himself
• Seth MacFarlane - Emperor Palpatine
• Malcolm McDowell - Head Imperial officer
• Breckin Meyer - Admiral Ackbar, Announcer, Boba Fett, Janitor, Space slug #1
• Dan Milano - Boy, Cantina bartender, Luke Skywalker
• Chad Morgan - Laura Bush, Princess Leia Organa, Weather girl
• Conan O'Brien - Ponda Baba's boss, Zuckuss
• Robert Smigel - Emperor Palpatine parody
• Adam Talbott - Jawa
• James Van Der Beek - Bush's aide

External links