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Castle (2009-2016) is an American comedy-drama television series, airing on ABC, about a mystery writer, Richard Castle, becoming involved in investigating murders after a copycat killer uses his novels as inspiration and he decides to base a series of novels on the lead investigator, Detective Kate Beckett.

Flowers For Your Grave [1.1]

Lanie: He even brought her flowers, who said romance is dead?

Beckett: I do, every Saturday night.

Lanie: A little lipstick wouldn't hurt.

Castle: When I was your age... I can’t tell that story, it’s wildly inappropriate, which oddly is my point. Don’t you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can’t tell your children?

Alexis: I think you have enough of those for the both of us.

Castle: Life should be an adventure. Do you want to know why I killed Derek? There were no more surprises. I knew exactly what was going to happen every moment of every scene. It’s just like these parties they become so predictable, ‘I’m your biggest fan, where do you get your ideas’.

Alexis: And the ever popular ‘will you sign my chest’

Castle: That one I don’t mind so much.

Castle: [to his daughter Alexis] I just want someone to come up to me and say something new.

Beckett: Mr. Castle?

Castle: [turning around holding a pen ready to give an autograph] Where would you like it?

Beckett: [holding badge] Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.

Alexis: [taking the pen from him] That's new.

Ryan: [pointing to inscription on Castle's book] From the library of Katherine Beckett.

Beckett: Do you have a problem with reading, Ryan?

Esposito: Yo, check it, girl, you're totally a fan!

Beckett: Right. Of the genre.

Ryan: Right, the genre, that's why you're blushing.

Beckett: What are you, twelve?

Beckett: Mr Castle, you’ve got quite a rap sheet for a bestselling author. Disorderly conduct, resisting arrest.

Castle: Boys will be boys.

Beckett: It says here that you stole a police horse?

Castle: Borrowed.

Beckett: Ah, and you were nude at the time.

Castle: It was spring.

Castle: [to Beckett] Well, you're not bridge and tunnel. No trace of the boroughs when you talk, so that means Manhattan, that means money. You went to college, probably a pretty good one. You had options. Yeah, you had lots of options, better options, more socially acceptable options, and you still chose this. That tells me something happened. Not to you. No, you're wounded, but you're not that wounded. No, it was somebody you cared about. It was someone you loved. And you probably could have lived with that, but the person responsible was never caught. [realizing he's overstepped] And that, Detective Beckett, is why you're here.

Beckett: Cute trick. Don't think you know me.

Castle: [hesitant] The point is, there's always a story... you just have to find it.

Beckett: Half of the guys are waiting for prints. You don't just jump the line.

Castle: Oh, I think somebody feels threatened.

Beckett: I'm not threatened.

Castle: No, no, I get it. I can call the mayor and you can't.

Beckett: We have procedure. Protocol.

Castle: Yeah, and you always come to a complete stop at a red light and you never fudge your taxes. Tell me something: do you ever have any fun? Let your hair down? Drop your top? A little "cops gone wild"?

Beckett: You do know that I'm wearing a gun?

Castle: Oooh.

Esposito: [To Beckett] A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no, that's gonna be more fun than Shark Week.

Beckett: Richard Castle, you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice!

Castle: [Smiling] You forgot making you look bad.

Martha: It's my fault; he never had a father figure.

Castle: Oh, that's not true, Mother, I had lots of father figures!

[After they make the arrest]

Beckett: Well, guess this is it.

Castle: Oh it doesn’t have to be. We could uh… go to dinner, debrief each other.

Beckett: Why, Castle? So I can be another one of your conquests?

Castle: Or I could be one of yours.

Beckett: [extending her hand] It was nice to meet you, Castle.

Castle: [shaking it] It’s too bad. It would have been great.

Beckett: [stepping closer and leaning toward his ear] You have no idea.

Beckett: You wanted to see me, sir?

Montgomery: Yeah. I just got a call from the mayor's office. Apparently, you have a fan.

Beckett: A fan, sir?

Montgomery: Rick Castle. Seems he's found the main character for his next set of novels: a tough but savvy female detective.

Beckett: ... I'm flattered?

Montgomery: Don't be. He says he has to do research.

Beckett: Oh no.

Montgomery: Oh yes.

Beckett: No way.

Montgomery: Beckett, listen.

Beckett: Sir, he is like a nine-year-old on a sugar rush, totally incapable of taking anything seriously.

Montgomery: But he did help solve this case. And when the mayor's happy, the commissioner's happy. And when the commissioner's happy, I'm happy.

Beckett: How long, sir?

Montgomery: [motioning to his door] It's up to him.

[Beckett turns to find Castle standing in the doorway, smirking]

Nanny McDead [1.2]

Beckett: Exactly how much longer do I have to expect you to be shadowing me on my cases like this?

Castle: Hard to say, when I’m writing a new character there’s no saying when inspiration might strike.

Beckett: I thought I was your inspiration.

Castle: Oh you are Detective, in so many ways.

Beckett: Yeah well your inspiration might strike you sooner than you might think.

Alexis: So, who got killed today?

Castle: The nanny.

Alexis: Do they know who did it?

Castle: Well, apparently, in an actual homicide, they don't know who did it until the guy gets caught.

Police rep: Mr. Castle, be advised: if you get injured following Detective Beckett to research your next novel, you cannot sue the city. If you get shot, you cannot sue the city. If you get killed...

Castle: My lifeless remains cannot sue the city?

Police rep: Your heirs, Mr. Castle, your heirs.

Beckett: Mrs. Peterson? Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about Sarah Manning.

Mrs. Peterson: Of course. Please come in.

Beckett: Thank you.

Castle: Richard Castle, just... N.Y.

Castle: What about the guy in 8B?

Beckett: Who?

Castle: [his murder theory] 8B. You see him every day, only you never notice him. But he noticed Sara. She's young, beautiful, the kind of girl that a guy like him would never have a chance with. [looks at Beckett pointedly] We all know girls like that don't we? [continuing] Well, at first, it's just a game. Figure out her schedule. When does she do her laundry? When is she alone? Until it becomes something more, something that he can't control. Well, he uses the stairs, obviously, to avoid the elevator's cameras. And then he just waits, concealed in the shadows. When she comes into that laundry room, he pounces. When he looked into her vacant, lifeless eyes, he wanted to tell her he never meant to kill her. All he ever wanted was to be noticed. That's when he felt the heat of that dryer on his skin. So he picks up her limp body in his arms and gently places it inside. He almost smiled at his good fortune when he found the quarter in his pocket, slipping it into the slot. Buying him the time to do what he does best... disappear. [pauses, then continues] Just saying, better story. Coffee?

Montgomery: Let see what we can find out about those neighbors. [walking away and turning back briefly] And someone better tell me who the hell lives in 8B!

[after Brent tells Beckett his alibi]

Brett: Am I under arrest or something?

Beckett: No. You can go. But, just don’t leave town until we speak again. Do you understand?

Brent: Yeah. Yes, ma’am.

[after Brent leaves the interrogation room]

Castle: “Don’t leave town”? Don’t you need probable cause for something like that?

Beckett: Only he doesn’t know that, does he?

Castle: You can lie like that? That is so cool. [begins taking notes]

Beckett: Exactly how many times have you been married?

Castle: Twice.

Beckett: That’s it?

Castle: Isn’t that enough? How about you?

Beckett: Me? No, never been.

Castle: Really?

Beckett: Yeah.

Castle: You’d be good at it. You’re both controlling and disapproving.

Castle: You would really clean up at my poker game.

Beckett: Right. You, James Patterson and the rest of the times best seller list. No thank you Castle, little to rich for my blood.

Castle: We could always make it strip poker.

Beckett: Sorry but I prefer mystery to horror.

Hedge Fund Homeboys [1.3]

Reading the paper? You are going to lose all of your wired teen hyper texting nano gizmo street cred.

Castle: Who was murdered, and was it gruesome?

Castle: [after getting pinched on the ear by Beckett because he was listening to her phonecall] Next time, put it on speakerphone.

Castle: Reading the paper? You are going to lose all of your wired teen hyper texting nano gizmo street cred.

Alexis: I'm a rebel. I kick it old school.

Castle: Style section. Anything I need to know?

Alexis: The ‘70s are back.

Castle: Hmm. They’re like the Highlander, they just won’t die.

Beckett: Do you know the school?

Castle: Oh, I’ve been kicked out of all of New York’s finer educational institutions at least once. The irony is, now that I’m rich and famous, they all claim me as alum and want money

Beckett:[sarcastically] It is just so rough being you.

Castle: My cross to bear.

Castle: What’s the class?

Martha: Introduction to life coaching. It’s always been my desire to make a difference, whether on stage or off. And I have had cards made.

Castle: It says here I’m your client.

Martha: Well of course you are, haven’t I been telling you what to do your entire life?

Castle: Did you know in the original Greek, 'tragedy' literally means 'goat song'? I know, doesn't make any sense to me either, but whatever that first story was, I can't help but think, bad things must have happened to that goat.

Beckett: You know why you're here?

Suspect: No idea.

Beckett: The arresting officer said that he saw you in a hand-to-hand sale of narcotics in the park.

Suspect: Must have me confused with somebody else.

Beckett: Really, that's what you're givin' me? All drug dealers look alike?

...

Suspect: I want immunity.

Beckett: From what? The mumps?

Castle: Do you do drugs?

Alexis: No.

Castle: Are you sure? Cause you can tell me.

Alexis: Dad, am I lethargic and uncharacteristically irritable?

Castle: No.

Alexis: Are my eyes bloodshot for no apparent reason?

Castle: No. Except when you’re sick.

Alexis: That’s an apparent reason.

Castle: Right.

Castle: [In order to get Brandon to admit to his crime] If only Max had been strong enough just to man up... If only Donny realized he didn't belong with you guys anymore, he and Amanda were through, well, then none of this would have been necessary. (Lowered voice) Weak people just don't get it, do they, Brandon? Sometimes they just have to be led to the truth.

Brandon: (Whispers) Exactly. [Unknowingly admitting to his crime]

Castle: [Smiling at Beckett] Did he just say "exactly"?

Hell Hath No Fury [1.4]

Beckett: [interrogating a suspect] Witnesses don't place you in the club until one in the morning, and Horn was murdered between eleven and twelve.

Castle: [watching Beckett from behind one-way glass] Here it comes, and...

Beckett: So, where were you between eleven and twelve, Mr. Creason?

Castle: Booyah.

Creason: I was asleep.

Castle: Asleep!? You are lame! [heard from other side of glass] You are so lame! You're a lamey, McLamester! You're so l-l-l- [back in room] LAME!!

Castle: [describing his character based on Beckett] She's going to be really smart, very savvy, haunting good looks, really good at her job...and kinda slutty.

Ryan: You're telling me you've lived in New York your whole life, and you've never scored a piece of roadkill?

Esposito: "Roadkill?"

Ryan: It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. Artists, students, former hedge-fund managers... it's trickle-down economics at its finest.

Esposito: Yeah, well I prefer not to be trickled on.

Ryan: [grinning] You know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?

Esposito: ...Don't you say it, bro.

Ryan: 54th and Lex.

Esposito: That's gross. Gross. We are never playing Madden at your place again.

[Talking to Alexis about the case while chopping onions]

Alexis: I don’t get it. If Creason didn’t do it, then how does the rug fit in?

Castle: Killer probably heard about the feud between the two of them and tried to shift suspicion, which is stupid, because without the rug, it would’ve just looked like a mugging gone wrong.

Alexis: So by trying to look smart, they were actually being stupid.

Castle: I think you just described the human condition.

Lanie: Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer boy?

Beckett: What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-

Lanie: Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?

Beckett: [answers phone] Beckett.

Castle: [excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!

[Alexis walking in as Castle is working]

Alexis: Hey

Castle: Hey. Finished your homework?

Alexis: Yeah.

Castle: You wanna finish mine?

Alexis: Well, that depends. How much you offering to pay me?

Castle: Oh, I taught you well.

Beckett: What kind of a name is "Nikki Heat"?

Castle: A cop name.

Beckett: It's a stripper name.

Castle: Well, I told you she was kind of slutty.

Beckett: Change it, Castle.

Castle: Wait. Hang on a second. Think of the titles. "Summer Heat", "Heat Wave", "In Heat".

Beckett: Change the name! [advancing on him] Change the name!

Castle: [backing away] No.

Beckett: Yes.

Castle: No.

Beckett: Change it!

Castle: [grabbing the cardboard cutout to shield himself] No.

Beckett: Castle?!

Castle: I’m sorry. I have artistic integrity, Beckett.

Beckett: “Artistic integrity?” Change the name, Castle! Today!

A Chill Goes Through Her Veins [1.5]

Maybe we should be looking for ruby slippers.

Beckett: [about a frozen body] She's melting.

Castle: Maybe we should be looking for ruby slippers.

[After finding out the victim’s husband was shot in a mugging]

Esposito: Yeah. What are the odds?

Castle: Long, unless they’re connected.

Esposito: Well, four years between murders. One’s a popsicle, one just got popped. How could they possibly be connected?

Castle: Maybe he and his wife got into something they couldn’t get out of. Maybe something to do with a drug habit.

Ryan: So some skell waits four years to finish the job?

Castle: Maybe he finally figured out what happened to his wife and was about to go the police with it.

Ryan: I don’t believe it.

Castle: Give me 250 pages, I bet I could make you.

[Ryan chuckles]

Beckett: We’re solving a murder, Castle, not writing a book.

Castle: I would call it, A Chill Runs Through Her Veins.

Esposito: Ooh, I like that.

Castle : Heh! [Two slap hands] “Bam” said the lady, another bestseller for me.

[Talking about the case while staring in a refrigerator]

Alexis: If I was putting a body in a freezer, it’d be because I was trying to hide it.

Castle : Until you stop paying for the storage space.

Alexis: Did I stop, or did something stop me?

[Castle turns toward Alexis in realization while she shrugs]

Castle: [closing the refrigerator] It’s family moments like these I will never forget.

Alexis : [scoffing] With a good therapist, hopefully, I will.

Castle: All right, so you and I are married.

Beckett: We are not married.

Castle: Relax, it's just pretend.

Beckett: I don't wanna pretend.

Castle: Scared you'll like it?

Beckett: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.

Apartment Guy: Are you two like this all the time?

Castle & Beckett: Yes.

[After discovering that Wyler was paying to keep Melanie’s body hidden]

Beckett: Why did you stop paying?

Wyler: Look, I’m truly sorry about what happened to Melanie. But what was I supposed to do? Keep paying for the rest of my life?

Beckett: [coldly] The DA will make sure of that, Mr. Wyler.

[parked outside the home of a grandfather who killed his daughter's murderer]

Castle: You could just leave it like this. Sam's dead. The captain's happy. Those kids look pretty happy.

Beckett: That's the difference between a novel and the real world, Castle. A cop doesn't get to decide how the story ends.

Beckett: This is for the life I saved [pointing at the watch on her left arm which belongs to her father]. And. This is for the life I lost [picking at the ring which belongs to her dead mother].

Always Buy Retail [1.6]

Beckett : [Looking over at Castle at the crime scene, who looks dazed] Hello?

Castle: [snapping out of it] Hmm?

Beckett: You okay?

Castle: I had sex with my ex-wife this morning. My first ex-wife. Meredith, Alexis' mom. And she's thinking about moving back to New York. Do you know what that would mean to me? That would be a very special brand of hell: the hell of a deep-fried Twinkie.

Ryan: Deep-fried Twinkie?

Castle: Yeah, the guilty pleasure that you know is bad for you so you only do it once, maybe twice a year for the novelty,

Ryan and Esposito: Ah!

Castle: But a deep-fried Twinkie everyday is... [gags]

Beckett: Castle!

Castle: What?

Beckett: Crime scene. Dead body. A little respect here.

Castle: I don't think he can hear me.

Beckett: Okay, how about a little self-respect then?

Castle: ...Fine.

Beckett: If she's so bad, why did you have sex with her this morning?

Castle: Let me tell you something about crazy people. The sex is unbelievable.

Beckett: How shallow are you?

Castle: [soberly] Very.

Beckett: [following Castle across the street] Castle? Castle!

Castle: [stops in front of a electronics shop] I’m on TV.

Beckett: Are you having a breakdown?

Castle: Not a breakdown, a breakthrough. And I really am ruggedly handsome, aren’t I?

Beckett: Still waiting for the breakthrough.

[Meredith makes a surprise at the precinct]

Castle: [introducing the team] Meredith, these are Detectives Ryan, Esposito and Detective Beckett.

Meredith:Oh, Beckett. Your new muse. Alexis told me all about it, and I simply had to stop by. You know, I was his inspiration once.

Beckett: Were you, now?

Meredith: Still am, from time to time. Right, kitten?

Beckett: [grinning]Kitten?

[Ryan and Esposito snicker in the back]

Castle: I had this dream once, only I was naked and far less embarrassed.

[Complaining about Meredith’s return]

Martha: …And this whole theater thing, it’s ridiculous. You know, she hasn’t landed a role in months. Uh-huh. That’s right. I made a couple of calls. Why do you think she’s moving back to New York? She can’t get arrested in LA!

Castle: We’re looking for a yoga studio nearby with a class that ended about 3:00.

Beckett: Maybe the woman was on her way to yoga class.

Castle: You ever try doing a half-moon pose cranked up on caffeine? Completely throws off your chi.

[hiding behind a kitchen island while getting shot at]

Beckett: [to Castle] Stay down!

Castle: You stay down!

Beckett: I can't shoot him from down here.

Castle: Yeah, and he can't shoot you either!

Martha: You don’t choose the theater. The theater chooses you!

Home Is Where The Heart Stops [1.7]

Ryan: Why do you writers always call them "perps?"

Castle: Isn't that what you call them?

Ryan: Ah, we've got a whole lot of names for them. Pipehead, pisshead, orc, creep...

Esposito: ...crook, knucklehead, chucklehead...

Ryan: ...chud, turd...

Esposito: ...destro, scall...

Ryan: ...skexy, slicko, slick...

Esposito: ...mope...

Ryan: ...sleestak...

Castle: [writing in notepad] Slow down, slow down!

Beckett: Suspects. We call them suspects.

Montgomery: I'm old-school. I like "dirtbag."

Castle: Classic!

Castle: [shouting over Beckett's gunfire] Wouldn't it be more of a challenge if they weren't standing still?!

Beckett: [stops shooting] OK Castle, you show me how it's done.

Castle: Whoo!

Beckett: All yours. [Castle clears his throat as he takes a one handed stance with his right hand] It's not a duel, Scaramouche. [Beckett turns Castle around] Here. Square off of the target. Feet shoulder distance apart. OK, gauntlet your right fist in your left palm.

Castle: [Castle accidentally fires into the wall] Oh! Shot too soon.

Beckett: Yeah, well, you know we could always just cuddle, Castle.

Castle: Oh, funny, and a smile. Good. [Castle fires again, missing the target]

Beckett: [sounding dubious] Well, that's better.

Castle: Hmm. You know I, uh, came down to ask you if I could, uhhh, take home some of those stolen property photos.

Beckett: Photos of the jewellery? Why?

Castle: I dunno, I just thought it might spark something. [shoots again, hitting the target in the groin area] Oooh! That kinda hurt!

Beckett: Tell you what. You put any of the next three in the ten ring and I will give you the files.

Castle: Yeah?

Beckett: Yeah.

[Castle quickly fires three shots right in the 10 ring. Beckett stares at the target, stunned, then glares at Castle.]

Castle: [smugly] You're a very good teacher.

Beckett: The next time you show up at a crime scene without me, I'll show you how my taser works.

Castle: Promise?

[Beckett stomps down on the killer’s hand, forcing him to drop the gun]

Beckett: Go ahead. I need the practice.

Alexis: My, dad, nervous for a date?

Castle: It's not a date - it's an undercover operation.

Martha: I don't know why you won't tell me where the party is.

Castle: Because you'll show up.

Beckett: Do you know they call you "The White Whale?"

Castle: [surprised] The White Whale? [Beckett nods] Not Moby-?

Beckett: No.

Castle: [after a fistfight] I tried to stay in the car. I really did!

Castle: How often are people killed in neighborhoods like this?

Beckett: Same as anywhere else Castle. Just the once.

Ghosts [1.8]

[talking about a poker game]

Martha: [After picking up her cards, she scoffs and puts them back down] Phooey. I fold.

Esposito: If you don’t mind me saying, Mrs. R., you fold a lot.

Martha: I just don’t believe in stringing along a bad hand. Why waste time?

Castle: Actually, Mother’s game isn’t really Texas Hold ’Em. It’s strip poker. Keeps things humming along, if you know what I mean.

Martha: Well, frankly, I prefer strip because even when you lose, you win. [winks]

[talking about a poker game]

Judge: [to Beckett] Do us a favor, Detective. Beat his pants off.

Castle: Yes please, beat my pants off if you dare.

[After Castle wins the game and begins gloating]

Judge: [annoyed] Don’t you ever get tired of winning, Castle?

Castle: [still gloating] Yeah, you’d think so, right? But no.

[talking about a poker game]

Beckett: I'm gonna make you hurt.

Castle: Oh, you're gonna get hurt.

Beckett: What are we playing for?

Castle: Pride...or clothing.

Beckett: I think I got a bag of gummy bears...

Little Girl Lost [1.9]

Yin needs Yang, not another Yin. Yin-Yang is harmony. Yin-Yin is…a name for a panda.

Beckett: It's Sunday morning. Shouldn't you be slinking home from a scandalous liaison?

Castle: Would you be jealous if I were?

Beckett: In your dreams.

Castle: Actually, in my dreams, you're never jealous. In my dreams, you just join-- [Beckett shoves bear claw in Castle's mouth]

[Montgomery is informing Beckett and Castle on the abduction]

Beckett: I don’t understand, sir. If this isn’t a murder, why am I here?

Montgomery: The feds requested you to be on the task force.

Castle: Feds?

Beckett: FBI has jurisdiction over child abduction cases.

Castle: Then why call me?

Montgomery: ‘Cause I like pissing off the FBI

Beckett: Oh, do you want to see grumpy? How about the cover art for your new novel?

Castle: Nikki Heat cover art? That's only available to... [Beckett starts walking away] oh my God, you subscribed to my website? Wait a minute... are you Castlefreak1212? Castlelover45?

Beckett: You do realize that most people would be creeped out by crazy anonymous fans?

Castle: Like you?

Beckett: It was strictly professional curiosity.

Castle: So what did you think of your alter ego Nikki? pretty sweet, right?

Beckett: "Sweet?" She's naked!

Castle: She's not naked! She's holding a gun... strategically.

Beckett: [Castle and Beckett in elevator at the police station] Six months.

Castle: Six months what?

Beckett: [about FBI agent Will Sorenson] We dated for six months.

Castle: I didn't ask.

Beckett: Yeah, I know. You were not-asking very loudly.

Castle: I know. I'm like a Jedi like that.

Beckett: Oh, for God's sakes. [referring to Sorenson and Castle] Why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with?

Castle: I'm game.

[Castle about to be sent out to drop off the ransom money]

Beckett: Be careful, okay?

Castle: Do I detect actual concern for my well-being?

Beckett: Screw this up and I’ll kill you.

Sorenson: He's quite a guy. If only he knew how big a fan you really are.

Beckett: Yeah, well, he's not going to know.

Sorenson: You never told him how you stood in line for an hour just to get your book signed? How his novels got you through your mother's death?

Beckett: Is there anything you don't remember?

Sorenson: Not when it comes to you.

Castle: [Reading a text] It says, “Cross the street, then west on East 47th.” That’s left, right?

Beckett: Right.

Castle: Right, right? Or right, left?

Beckett & Sorenson: Left!

[After Sorenson leaves]

Castle: Nice guy. I can see how it wouldn’t work, though.

Beckett: Really?

Castle: Sure.

Beckett: Huh.

Castle: Handsome, square-jawed, by-the-book.

Beckett: And that’s a bad thing?

Castle: Yeah, he’s like the male you. Yin needs Yang, not another Yin. Yin-Yang is harmony. Yin-Yin is…a name for a panda.

Beckett: Any more wisdom, Obi-Wan?

A Death in the Family [1.10]

[Beckett and Castle find the plastic surgeon's office; she and Castle walk past a well-endowed woman; Castle stares]

Beckett: Well, this must be the place. [clears throat] What is it with men and boobs, anyway?

Castle: Biological. We can't help it.

Beckett: But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?

Castle: Santa's not real. We still love opening his presents.

Beckett: I'm not running a background check on your daughter's date.

Castle: Oh, come on! She says he's quiet, he keeps to himself, and he lives with his parents. Tell me that doesn't sound like a serial killer to you!

Castle: [Regarding Alexis' date] Boy, I can't believe my little girl is going to prom... my only comfort now is the long-standing tradition of torturing the boyfriend.

Beckett: What do you mean?

Castle: You know, the time-honored hazing that goes on in those few moments we share, where he and I are alone, just before my daughter descends the stairs.

Ryan: I remember the terror of meeting my date's old man.

Castle: What did he do?

Ryan: Checked my wallet for condoms, showed me his gun collection, my hands were shaking so bad I could barely put on the corsage.

Castle: [to Beckett] What did your dad do?

Beckett: [pause] I... I don't know. I was in my room.

Castle: How was your date when you finally came out?

Beckett: You know what, now that you mention it, he looked terrified. [Castle and Ryan nod] And this whole time I though he was scared of me.

Castle: Nope! And now it's my turn...

Ryan: What are you planning?

Castle: Something befitting the name of 'Castle'...

Martha: Nothing you say will change how we feel. What men don’t understand is the right clothes, the right shoes, the right make up, it hides the flaws we think we have, and make us look beautiful to our selves, that’s what makes us look beautiful to others.

Castle: Used to be all she needed to look beautiful was a pink tutu and a plastic tiara.

Martha: We spend our whole lives trying to feel that way again.

Castle: [Trying to convince Beckett that she isn’t to blame for Sorenson being shot] You think this is your fault? Yeah, you pushed for it. Not because it’s your job, but because you care. Most people come up against a wall, they give up. Not you. You don’t let go. You don’t back down. That’s what makes you extraordinary.