Annals of Volusius, shitted papyrus,
Fulfill the vow of my girl.
For to the sacred Cupids and Venuses
She promised, if I were reconciled to her
and I stopped brandishing savage iambs,
that she would give the most select writings
of the worst poet to the lame-footed god
to be burned with unlucky firewood.
And in this way she saw that the worst girl
Wished humorously and charmingly to the gods.
Now, you who were born from the blue sea,
who dwell in the sacred Idalium and open Urium,
and in Ancona and reedy Cnidus,
and in Amathus and in Golgi,
and in Dyrrachium, shop of the Adriatic,
record this vow to have been accepted and returned,
if it is not uncharming and unwitty.
But you, meanwhile, go into the fire
full of rusticity and clumsiness,
annals of Volusius, shitted papyrus.

Annales Volusi, cacata carta,
votum solvite pro mea puella.
Nam sanctae Veneri Cupidinique
vovit, si sibi restutus essem
dessemque truces vibrare iambos,
electissima pessimi poetae
scripta tardipedi deo daturam
infelicibus ustulanda lignis.
Et hoc pessima se puella vidit
iocose lepide vovere divis.
Nunc o caeruleo creata ponto,
quae sanctum Idalium Uriosque apertos
quaeque Ancona Cnidumque harundinosam
colis quaeque Amanthunta quaeque Golgos
quaeque Durrachium Hadriae tabernam,
acceptum face redditumque votum,
si non illepidum neque invenustum est.
At vos interea venite in ignem,
pleni ruris et infacetiarum
annales Volusi, cacata carta.

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