The bachelor 'e fights for one
⁠As joyful as can be;
But the married man don't call it fun,
⁠Because 'e fights for three—
For 'Im an' 'Er an' It
⁠(An' Two an' One makes Three)
'E wants to finish 'is little bit,
⁠An' 'e wants to go 'ome to 'is tea!

The bachelor pokes up 'is 'ead
⁠To see if you are gone;
But the married man lies down instead,
⁠An' waits till the sights come on.
For 'Im an' 'Er an' a hit
⁠(Direct or ricochee)
'E wants to finish 'is little bit,
⁠An' 'e wants to go 'ome to 'is tea.