WELL SIRS, WHAT WILL YOU
LONELY O'MALLEY
A Story of Boy Life
BY
ARTHUR STRINGER
WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
FRANK T. MERRILL
BOSTON AND NEW YORK
HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN AND COMPANY
The Riverside Press, Cambridge
1905
COPYRIGHT 1905 BY ARTHUR STRINGER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Published September 1905
To Dorothy Violet Wilde
All youth my dearest Dorothy Violet, is divided into three parts,—that earliest blindfold age of infancy, that more wonderful mud-pie age of divers savageries and many imaginings, that still more golden and wonderful age of adolescence. Then, alas, the prison-house of actualities seems to close about us, and we awaken some fine morning to the sad fact that we are, thereafter, to be regarded as only one of the grown-ups. Of this dolorous condition you still know nothing; but when it does come, you will find your three ages of youth each merging into the other, and all grown misty. Of the first, of course, we can recall nothing. The second, alackaday, we all too quickly forget. The third, with its dreams and illusions, we carry along with us only in echoes and broken memories. So, this milestone or two on the long and devious wayside of a small boy's career may, I hope, keep alive in your heart and mine, and perhaps in a few others', some remembrances of those earlier days of life that too soon slip away—of those days when I thought you the nicest little girl in all the world, and you (dare I say it?) openly avowed that lemon meringue was the summum bonum of all existence!
A. S.
12 Plazza Barbirini, Rome, April, 1905
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
Well, sirs, what will you? (page 311)
Frontispiece
The boy at the buck-saw
5
Pud Jones was moodily receiving his first lesson in garden-making
8
He emerged from under the driving-shed
11
Armed himself with great care
17
Now, what strange craft might that be?
19
Audacious, jeering, tyrannical
23
Marooned on the top of her chain-pump
33
Are n't you the new baker's little boy?
41
He does n't really look so ver-r-ry thin!
47
Once more up the back stairs
51
Why ain't you a-gittin' some schoolin'?
60
Out in the warm sunshine
67
Marvelous feats on the trapeze
77
Don't talk to me about candy!
81
Stuck out a snake-like tongue at him
89
Now, put this into your face!
101
The Goddess of Liberty and her new page
109
The red bandanna went up
121
She 'll tackle anything from a tom-cat to a terrier!
131
I kin lick you!
137
That big bully out there licked me!
143
Innocent and unsuspecting
147
Shot down his quarry
154
Do you think I 'd better risk it?
165
Dictating a truce
169
Butcher Brennan doused the burning captive
181
Nursing the injured member
183
Pored over the book until the end was reached
191
A matter of conscience to accept no more than one cheese-cake
199
Ate a good part of his newly pasted house-kite
205
Come agin!
209
He was put in the infant class
213
Whipped up over the walnut-trees
225
Just scratched gravel for all they was worth!
229
There has been some foul deed done here!
239
The old constable proceeded to make himself at home
243
The constable gave the story over again
251
Little Pinkie Ball carried fence-boards
265
Silently poled up Watterson's Creek
272
Standing grandiosely exalted on that little upper deck
275
Backed by a masked and scowling man
279
Kin you recollect that craft, Silas?
287
Bore her, struggling and kicking
303
A paper, signed in red
314
You 're captured! cried the delirious pirate crew
329
An improvised skirt-dance
341
With a spy-glass and a shot-gun
357
Pursued by the irate maiden lady
360
Stretched himself out for his nap
367
Each vindictively eyeing the other
377
CONTENTS
Chapter One. In Which Lonely Finds Himself an Outlander
3
Chapter Two. In Which the King is Again Disowned
31
Chapter Three. In Which False Gods are Pursued
59
Chapter Four. In Which there is a Triumphal Procession
95
Chapter Five. In Which the King Comes Into His Own
129
Chapter Six. In Which Lionel Clarence Makes His Escape
151
Chapter Seven. In Which Lonely Gets Religion With a Vengeance
177
Chapter Eight. In Which Lonely Tells a Story or Two
221
Chapter Nine. In Which the Greyhound Steps Forth
261
Chapter Ten. In Which Certain Pirates are Pursued
285
Chapter Eleven. In Which the Greyhound is Overhauled
301
Chapter Twelve. In Which the Biter is Somewhat Bitten
319
Chapter Thirteen. In Which Youth is Stripped of its Glory
335
Chapter Fourteen. In Which, At Last, We Find Our Hero
353
LONELY O'MALLEY
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